Finally! A name!

So Jason and I finally found a name that we really like and that we both agreed on! No, we aren't going to announce it here…at least until we announce our referral. Only a couple of you know what name we've chosen. I'm just so in love with the name. It's unique. AND it won't make any weird acronyms when combined with our last name. From all of the sites I've researched, it's a girl's name only. It also saves us from any hard feelings on either side of the family for naming after a relative. If you ask, I'll consider telling you what it is, but I've had bad luck posting a name and then having everyone and their brother naming their child the same name.

Call me superstitious, but I have the worst luck…

OOO!!! I'm just too happy about this.

A rumor - Next batch of referrals

The latest rumor is that the CCAA has started matching for this month.  My calculations are showing that this next batch COULD go through May 26, 2006 but I believe that they’ll match through May 23, 2006.  The last batch was for all families whose LID was May 16^th, 17^th, and 18^th of 2006.  That means that it’s going to be a smaller than average month in terms of referral numbers and that they’re in the process of slowing the NSN program yet again. 

What does that mean for us?  Well, if they continue with smaller sized batches, it means that our referral will come much later in the year….like in April or May.  That means that my hopes of becoming a mother before I turn 40 have just been completely and utterly obliterated. 

I’m so tired.  Tired of waiting, tired of hoping, just plain tired of all of the pain.  My heart aches when I see other families.  I KNOW I’m supposed to be thankful for what I have, but this constant emptiness that I feel is really becoming too hard to bear. 

I wish I could be positive.  I wish I didn’t feel like this.  I wish I wasn’t crying…..

The Day Some Brain Cells Died

We went out to eat last night at Famous Dave's. MMMMM BBQ. I tried their new Beef Short Rib Sandwich. Jason got his usual half rack Baby Backs Memphis Style (no sauce). Our waitress was a sweet gal. Pretty, smiled a lot. I think she is in high school.

And she giggled. Not just any giggle, but the stereotypical dumb blonde giggle. She greeted us. And giggled. Apologized for the wait. And giggled. Brought us our drinks. And giggled. WOW! She put in our order which gave us a breather from the giggles.

I tried to take a drink of my water through a straw…got air. Pulled it out and it had a hole in the bendy part. She came back and I asked her for a new straw…"Oh no!!! You didn't get it all over yourself did you?"

"Nope"

Giggle giggle giggle…"it happens all the time." Her hands were waving everywhere….I was almost afraid for my water.

She brought us our food. Giggle giggle.

Everything OK? Giggle

"Yes, could I get some more sauce?" The short ribs were glazed in a Dr Pepper glaze. It was very tasty and I really wanted more.

She brought it out….giggling. Apparently, she almost sneezed…or so she said while she giggled.

"Did you want dessert?"

By this time, we were laughing so hard we could barely eat anymore. We did splurge and get the bread pudding.

She brought us our check. Between the giggles and the sugar, I was ready to just go home.

I think I lost a few brain cells tonight.

 

By the way….she wasn't blonde. She's brunette.

Probably has a 4.0……

I-600A Renewals

Yesterday we found out the fees for renewing the I-600A paperwork went up.  It was $670 and is now $720.

About a month ago, we sent our renewal off to the USCIS for processing.  It’s our 3^rd renewal since we started this whole adoption process.  My biggest fear was that we would receive notice that we needed to pay yet another fee to the US government because what else do they do besides take all of our money? 

Came home from work today and found that we had received our renewal.  We have until April of 2012 to complete our adoption before we have to start the whole immigration process over…from scratch.  So, what that means is, we should be done with that.  Considering that we’re anticipating a spring referral.  This latest one was a “grandfathered” extension which was free.  Yes, folks, you read this correctly!  We didn’t have to pay for this one!  Free Free Free!  And we’re done! 

With all of the things we’ve had to pay for this year, I’m so relieved that this one came through the way it did.  Finally, something went our way.  And…we also got away without having to do another Home Study for this renewal.  We were one month away from needing an updated one for USCIS.  That would have been $425.  We will have to probably get our fingerprints done right before we leave, but I can live with that.

Baby Names

I’ve been pondering baby names throughout the whole wait period. 

When we first started the process, I was dead set on Madeline for a name.  Well, everybody and their brother started naming their girls Madeline (and every spelling variation known to man – and probably others extremely odd as well).  Then I saw that my mother – in – law’s mother’s middle name was Sophia.  I loved that name too, until everyone started naming their daughter that. 

I really don’t want to follow a trend.  I want something relatively timeless.  I want her name to be something meaningful.  I don’t want to follow the trend where every “I” is replaced with “Y”.  I want people to see her name and KNOW she’s a girl – so androgynous names are out. 

Another name I had chosen at one time was Alberdena Johanna.  Alberdena is my maternal grandmother’s name.  Johanna was my paternal grandmother’s middle name (her first name was Henrietta – um, NO!  I will not do that to my child, no matter how much I loved my Grandma).  I would have called her Allie Jo.  My Grandma Allie told “you’ll name her Alberdena over my dead body”.  Well, she’s still living, so that’s a no, as well. 

But now, with the adoption, her middle name is going to be her given Chinese name.  It will be in honor of her heritage. 

So we’re back to square one with choosing a first name.  Ideally, I’d like a list of names to choose from.  I believe that you can’t accurately name a child until you look into their eyes and see their face.  Don’t get me wrong, there are many cases where I’ve heard of the parents choosing the name before they see their baby, but in my case, I’d like to see her before I name her.  Another difficulty is that my husband and I do not agree on names we like.  Yes, there are a few; but for the most part, we have different tastes. 

I like the idea of the name honoring someone who means the world to you.  The one name that I keep coming back to is Jolee.  It’s a combination of my brother’s first and middle names….incidentally, his “nickname” of sorts.  It means “pretty” in French.  Sorry baby bro…don’t mean to call you “pretty”.  Not that you aren’t handsome! 

I asked my nieces for their opinions.  They gave me Taylor, Tanner, Maddie, Emma, Tyler.  I told them that I needed girl names.  My youngest niece replied, “They ARE girls.”  This is what I mean by androgynous names.  I’ve always known Taylor, Tanner, and Tyler to be boy names.  I once saw a movie (not for young eyes) where the leading lady (if you could call her a lady) was named Alex and she was assigned a dorm room with 2 other men.  I don’t want to take that kind of a chance with my little girl.  

So….names.  Any suggestions?

And the prediction is……

Ok, many of you have been asking “When will you get your referral?”.  There is no easy answer to that.  My predictions have been based on a “not-so-scientific” but “eerily accurate” method.  I’ll explain that now.

We have officially been waiting 1,537 days.  For adopting families, they refer to this as being “pregnant on paper”.  I’ve been “pregnant” for a very long time.  The African Elephant has an average gestation period of 660 days.  So, to put this into comparative terms, we’re working on our third elephant!

There are 39 LID’s before our LID. 

A website that I frequent, mainly to get updates on the China Adoption rumor mill, travel tips, etc, is called Rumor Queen.  She takes semi-annual polls to see how many families are in a certain LID.  She complies the information and posts it on her blog.  I take the data that she’s so generously complied and plug it into a spreadsheet that I’ve been maintaining for about the past three years.  I average the data in each LID.  When the CCAA posts their latest batch, I look at the number of families that were included in that batch.  I then calculate to see how many days will most likely be included in the next batch.  For 2010, I’ve been wrong once.  And that was this most recent batch where the CCAA referred more than I expected.  Friends, that threw my calculations out of whack!  Based on this latest batch, if the CCAA continues with batches of a similar size, we should be getting our referral with the January batch.  If they go back to the sizes of their previous batches, then we’re expecting a February referral.  I don’t have a prediction of when we’ll be seeing January or February referrals though.  I’ve not been keeping up with that data.  All I care about is how soon we’ll get that call…and picture. 

What does a January referral mean?  Late February, early March travel.

A February referral means late March, early April travel. 

So NEXT SPRING!

Terminology lesson

OK, class.  Today I’m going to give a lesson on what the terms I talk in mean.  If I didn’t know what they were, I’d be confused.  This will be your “One Stop Shop” for those answers.  People familiar with international adoption should recognize them.

DTC – This is the date that we sent our Dossier To China.  Our DTC was June 13, 2006.

LID – This is the Log In Date.  This is the date our paperwork was logged into the office of the CCAA.  Our LID is June 27, 2006.  The LID is significant because all referral match dates are based on the LID.  The latest batch of referrals was for families whose LID was May 16, May 17, and May 18.

CCAA – China Center for Adoption Affairs.  They are in the process of changing their name to CCWC (China Child Welfare Center).  This is the government agency who manages all of the domestic and international adoptions in China.  They are the group that we are entrusting an obscene amount of trust in the care of our future child.  In future posts, I’ll reflect on what we’ve been told their process is for matching babies with families.

TA – Travel Approval (called other things in other countries, this is the Notice of Coming to China)

CA – Consulate Appointment.  This will be when we meet with the American Consulate to get the Immigrant Visa for our child.  She (or possibly he) will be considered an American citizen as soon as her little feet touch American soil.  OOO, I can’t wait!!!

SN – Special Needs.  How does one define Special Needs.  There are some things that China defines as a “Special Need” when, in my humble opinion, they truly should not be.  They can range from a visible birthmark to a serious heart defect, from major deformities to being older than 2 years old.  I feel that ALL institutionally raised children should be considered Special Needs.  But, alas, I don’t make the rules.  We are not doing a Special Needs adoption. 

NSN – Non Special Needs.  These children have no known defects or deformities and are less than 2 years old.  We had to write a letter of request detailing “what” we were looking for.  We happened to choose “female child, as young as possible”. 

LOA – Letter of Acceptance – used in both NSN and SN process. In NSN program it is the document that allows you to officially accept a referral. In SN program the CCAA sends it after the LOI and before TA.

SWI / CWI – Social/Children’s Welfare Institute.  These terms reflect what orphanages are called in China.

If anyone has any questions, please raise your hand and I’ll call on you one at a time!  ;-)