Monday, February 28, 2011

Surprises!

Surprise!  The CCAA did a batch early this time.  The last few have had roughly 40 days in between.  This time, there wasn’t even one month!  I logged onto the rumor site where I get the majority of my info.  Lo and behold, a rumor had popped in that the CCAA was preparing to match.  This was early on Thursday.  So, during my lunch break, I decided to peek again to see if there were updates.  What a shocker to find out that there were reports of referral calls in Europe!  I about passed out from the shock!  Not just that, but they did a full week of referral days!  June 9, 2006 was the latest cutoff. 
So, what does that mean for us?
·         As of today, we’ve been waiting 1,681 days. 
·         Our Log in Date is June 27, 2006.
·         There are 18 referral days in front of us.
·         IF they continue at the pace they’re on, we should see our referral in May!
Yes, May!  This is pushed up from the July referral window that I was initially calculating!  This is becoming real folks!  I’m going to be a mommy this summer! 

That being said, we are now in panic mode to get things done and organized.  We started working on getting Dumpling’s room cleared out so that we can strip the old wallpaper and repaint.  We’re trying to figure out if it’s worth putting a crib in or not.  We’re thinking of a toddler bed that can convert to twin size later when she’s older.  I’ll be posting before and after pictures so that you can see the results of the project.  We have a lot of work ahead of us!  Anyone want to help strip wallpaper???

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Life and Stalkers???

Life – big events filled in with small happenings which really don’t make that much of an impression. 
One of the more humorous events happened to me late last week after work; I was waiting for Jason to pick me up.  It was a nice day so I decided to stand outside to wait for him.  It’s not an unusual for me to wait a bit, but what happened next was just simply bizarre. 
As I was walking to my spot, I saw a few people in cars waiting for the individual they were waiting for.  Not unusual.  There was also a courtesy van for one of the local dealerships.  He was obviously waiting for someone who had their car serviced.  Not unusual either.  What happened next though was.  As I walked to the spot, the courtesy van crept closer to me.  I noticed this so I moved further down the sidewalk.  He slowly followed me.  So I kept walking.  He kept following me.  At this point, I was just annoyed, so I shook my head and walked back to where I usually wait.  The driver then turned the courtesy van around and drove up to where I was standing.  So I decided to start working my way back to where I had been when I turned around.  The guy driving the van put his car in reverse to follow me!  Jason got there shortly after and I hopped into our car and proceeded to laugh my behind off!
At what point should the van driver have realized that I wasn’t his customer?  Could it have been when I didn’t get into the car?  Or how about when I shook my head no?  The whole thing happened over about a seven minute time span so he SHOULD have gotten the hint, right???  Stalker.

So Jason and I have discovered the wonder that Trader Joe’s is.  Trader Joe’s is an awesome market that opened a location in West Des Moines.  They have all kinds of organic food and their produce section is phenomenal.  We noticed that we’ve started eating in more often since we’ve begun purchasing our food there. 
So last night, we were getting some groceries there for the week.  They have a station set up where they serve samples of the food they sell.  Last night, they were serving fettuccini with Langostine lobster tails.  It was divine.  It was also very appropriate for a Valentine’s Day dinner.  So we purchased the bag of pasta and the bag of lobster tails, took it home and I prepared it.  We also purchased a Dark Chocolate Ganache torte.  Add a bottle of moscato and we were in foodie heaven. 

And now onto adoption stuff. 
Rumor Queen still has our referral projected for May of this year.  I have to say, I really don’t agree with this.  Based on my running calculations, I think our referral will be either in July or August.  Now, they could totally surprise us all and refer a couple of BIG batches in there, but since blue’s not such a good color for me, I’m not going to hold my breath.   Not so sure that I’d want to go to Guangzhou in the middle of summer either.  It’s a tropical climate which has an average temperature in the 90’s with humidity in the 90% range.  Very hot and humid.   Ugh.  Add smelly diapers to a hot room and that just sounds fun, doesn’t it??
We’re also trying to get our fingerprints updated for the umpteenth time.  The wonderful federal government made “improvements” to the process.  At least that’s what the notice told us.  It’s really quite simple. 
1.       You call this 800 number which they provide to tell them you need to update your prints.
2.       They tell you that you need to email a request after filling out some paperwork.
3.       You fill out the paperwork and send the email
4.       They never respond to the email.
5.       You call them back to tell them you filled out the paperwork and emailed them.
6.       They tell you to send them the paperwork and they’ll email you with appointment information.
Well, that’s as far as we’ve gotten in the past month.  Not sure what the next steps are.  The old way, which apparently was MUCH more complex was:
1.       Go to the bank and buy a money order.
2.       Within 30 days of your expiration date, you drive down to the Federal Building on any given Wednesday.
3.       Walk through security.
4.       Get on the elevator to go to the USCIS (Immigration) office.
5.       Fill out the form the immigration officer gives you.
6.       Take a number
7.       When your number is called, get printed.
8.       Leave.
They raised the fees for their much “improved” process.  Ugh – Red tape. 
And lastly, we’re doing, what we hope is, our last home study update.  They hiked the fees up for that as well.  At least this year, we are dealing with our local office instead of the National office. 
Last year’s update was a stress inducing, tear jerking, anger and rage producing fiasco.  I have never come so close to going postal on anyone (even my ex-husband) as I was then. 
Background for those of you who weren’t aware. 
We started our adoption with a local agency called Gift of Love Adoption Agency.  My family doctor recommended the agency as he had adopted three of his daughters through them.  The people there were wonderful.  The problem was that the bulk of their adoption applications were for the China program and, due to the massive slow down of the China program, people stopped applying to adopt from that country.  This caused the agency to look for a larger agency to absorb their families so that those who continued to wait wouldn’t be stuck looking for an agency to take them.  So Gift of Love was acquired by America World. 
America World is the agency whom Steven Curtis Chapman used for his adoptions; a fine reputable, national agency. 
The gal that they had hired from Gift of Love, Beth – whom was absolutely wonderful, moved to a different position.  No one was notified because of a software glitch.  OK, I can handle that.  They gal they hired to replace her never contacted any of the families, never answered the phone, never returned voicemails, never responded to emails. 
Because we’ve been waiting so long, we’ve become quite familiar with the adoption laws in the state and know when our paperwork needs to be updated, and how long we need to complete all of the requisite paperwork.  So I emailed our local office, not knowing that our beloved Beth was no longer working for AWAA.  Never got a response.  So I called, left a voice mail.  No response.  We were now sitting at about one month away from our paperwork expiring so I called the national office.  They proceeded to tell me that I knew nothing about the process and that they knew better than I did.  OK, you JUST ticked off an “expectant” mother, who happens to have red hair and the temper to match.  I told them that I knew what the process was as I had been going through it for the previous FOUR YEARS and that they needed to get their facts straight and get someone out to our house to do the home study.  They said they’d look into it.  I calmed down, thinking that everything would be okay and that I’d be getting a call from them in a few days to set up an appointment.
Three weeks later, I finally called them back.  They never researched.  At this point, we were one week away from having our paperwork expire.  They also had hired a new social worker – Kim.  Poor gal, she was “christened” into her job with this mess.  I finally bullied (that sounds like such a bad word, but I did sort of threaten them with a lawsuit for breach of contract) them into researching what the state laws were.  Lo and behold, I was right!  Two days later, we had someone out to do the update and about a week after that, we had our update. 
After talking things over with Kim, I found out that they had also screwed another family over so badly that this family’s immigration paperwork had to be re-done, resulting in the possibility of losing their adoption.  Luckily, they didn’t, but with the changing health requirements in China, it was a distinct possibility. 
The national office has been trying to “repair” the relationship with us.  After this whole mess, we decided that we will never use this agency again, nor will we ever recommend them to anyone. 
We chose Gift of Love because of the personal service we would receive – that it was a family atmosphere.  America World, I feel like a number. 
This year, Kim has already sent us our requisite paperwork and is actively communicating with us.  Already a marked improvement.  We still aren’t going to use them for any future adoptions though.  That bridge was burnt…a long time ago.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Happy New Year - Rabbit Edition

So the cutoff for this month was June 2, 2006.  Once again, it was a very small batch.  It didn’t do too much damage to my calculations as I had already done the number crunching using smaller batch numbers.  What ticks me off is that it has been almost 2 months since the last referral batch and this is all they had to show for it.  I suppose one can say that we got referrals before the CCAA broke for the Chinese New Year Holiday is a good thing, but the size of the batch counteracts that! 
It angers me that they still accept applications to adopt non-special needs children from China.  How can they not be embarrassed that they are so slow at their job that people drop out of the program?  I know that Asians are generally proud people so this is totally out of character for them.  I feel so bad for the people who are behind us.  With 25 referral days in front of us, we’re still looking at about another 6 months before we even get our referral.  That’s less than 4 days a month.  And that’s also IF they refer in a month.  The last 4 months has only shown 2 batches so the odds aren’t favorable.  I’m going to guess that in the next 6 months we’ll see maybe 4 batches.  If they were smart, they’d work their tails off to get the back log taken care of, and then close the Non-Special needs program.  There isn’t anything positive about making a family wait for years and years for their heart.  But it’s not up to me. 
I’ve become very cynical during this wait.  The adage “Good things come to those who wait” never was at the mercy of a foreign government to grow their family.  I’m also at the end of my rope with patience.  The past few times when we’ve gotten rotten news regarding referrals, I’ve cried my heart out.  Those who know me well know that it takes an awful lot to reduce me to tears.  But this time, I got angry.  With 1,656 days of waiting since our LID, I think I’ve earned that right.  What pregnant woman has had to wait 5 years for their baby to be born?  The adoption community says that I’m pregnant on paper.  Well, in that time, there have been 2 elephants born AND the third one is due in about 150 days!  Yeah, we'll see the thrid one before we go.
So there’s where we’re at.
Happy New Year.  It’s the year of the rabbit.  Rabbit’s feet are supposed to bring good luck.